🌀Clearing my head🌀

The days and nights seem to run into each other at this point. I'm back at work, have been for almost 2 months now. Lil man is adjusting to supplementing with formula and is still wanting to nurse at night.( quite assertively I might add, he's stubborn- wonder where he gets that from?) :)People used to warn me about how much lil ones grow in no time- something I never thought was going to be this fast until I experienced it first hand. Everyday is something new- new lil smiles, giggles, even the way he studies my face when I get home from work. Lu Ann is taking such great care of him during the day. I know that he is in great hands. When I come home they're laying around talking, Full conversation with each other like he's telling her all of his thoughts on every aspect of his short lived lil life so far- he has so much to say. Already. I never knew I could love someone so much-- it still amazes me and I know it will continue to do so. This is really the most rewarding experience of my life- I want a couple more kids- I'd have one tomorrow if I could. 

 Summer is rapidly coming and I am thinking of all the activities we can do- he loves being outside. I'm thinking of doing chicks this year- if I can keep them away and out of Jacks mouth🐥 I think it would be fun to start this for when Case is older and can enjoy them too. I'm running 2 5k this summer and doing race for the cure with Parkhill- so we will b doing a lot of running at the park soon with Jack, putting Case' stroller to good use. 

   I haven't decided if being a working mom is worth everything I miss through the day, but I have a pretty awesome job that allows a lot of leeway, we have just had a long last 2 weeks. I feel that I was blessed with working at parkhill to experience first hand how lucky I am- having a healthy, perfect baby- I first handedly saw a family deal with the worst pain anyone could imagine and shouldnt ever have to go through last week- to them I'm truly sorry- I continue to grieve and pray for their faith everyday that God knows exactly why these things happen and there will be bliss in their lives very soon. No one should have to bury their children, let alone only get a short time with them and not get

to know them at all- I'm laying here with Case and can't imagine what I would do without him. I am not that strong and the good Lord knows this- he takes such good care of me. To everyone that is feeling lost or just  having a rough week- know that life is a blessing- each day is a chance to find this blessing- use it and find the joy in ur life- everyone deserves to smile-

It's been a long time...

Well I was going to try and keep this up and write everyday- it didn't happen. So here's to starting over and keeping up with it. 

     Monday was my first day back to work. Very easy week, considering trying to get back in the swing of things. I missed lil man all day and it was hard to leave him and his sweet smiles in the morning,but it has given me a sense of liberating and proud empowerment. I have always been a very fend for yourself type of person. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather be enjoying my lil man all day everyday but it gives us a nice break from each other and makes it that much better when we get to stay in bed a lil longer on those days I don't have to work. This snow day and the fact that I'm off tomorrow are pure luck. Thursday I'll b home as well, but have to take lil man to get his shots. Wish us luck on that deal, not lookin forward to it- 

 Tonight I'm blank- not a lot to say. Just wanting to remind myself that writing is a good thing and I need to keep doing it- 

 Until next time ( it won't be so long) 

-j shae

Food for thought---

I have noticed something and this doesn't go to anyone in particular, but to anyone and everyone.
_
- have a carefree life. Do not worry about things u can't change. I promise, it's hard at first but after a while it is extremely easy. I hear people all the time, specially since ive had a Lil one, commenting and telling me to watch or worry about certain things. I am not a neglectful parent but I also won't take my child into the Dr for just anything. Besides, he is more likely going to catch something worse going to the doc. As long as he is breathing, sleeping, eating, pooping (and its the right color) and not ridiculously fussy- in my books he is fine. My mother instinct is there for a reason, and until my alarm goes off and says something is wrong, I will watch him-,
One thing I have learned through this mother experience is that people will scare u to death telling u horror stories and thinking things are something they are not. Now I know this seems like a rant, however it isn't, so please don't take it that way---

I was told before I gave birth that people would tell me all these ways to be a parent, but even if I didn't agree---smile, nod, and then do whatever the hell u want when u get back home. That is what I have done and what i intend to do. I appreciate any advice I get but do not like being made to feel bad for not taking the advice. I'll always ask when advice is needed don't doubt that. Besides whose better to ask and use as resources than all these wonderful women who have done this and have done awesome!
Being a parent is such a passionate thing. People have done it since the beginning of time. Learning my own way is one of the very many beauties of it. Let any new moms do that-
Don't spoil their fun. ----I remember people telling me when I'd say things about the way I felt when I was pregnant, if I was tired or hurting - they'd say " o just wait, u haven't felt anything yet!" Like I didn't realize what I was in for. Or "o just wait, u don't know tired yet!" Like I was whining for no reason. These comments were one thing that made me irratable. I had an epidural, chose to not have a c-section, and gave birth after my epidural had worn off and 16 hours of labor. This doesn't make me a badass nor any better than anyone else, but I know pain. Only difference is when I see a expectant mom, I will never make labor seem like the worst thing ever. In my 2month momma journey I have learned nothing is as bad as it seems- yes I'm tired and yes labor hurt, but I'm fine, they are neither as extreme as everyone acted. What makes it better, worth it, is this Lil baby in your arms. So next time u talk to an expectant mother, make sure to be mindful of how u tell them about ur expierences. People had me scared to death of the experience and the recalls on products and the simplest things as putting Case down. Don't cast ur opinions and beliefs on new mommas and ruin it for them.

Respect them enough to let them find their own way, give them advice but let them make their own decisions and mistakes- it has been very liberating to say the least. this journal entry was not intended for anyone in particular like I said before and shouldn't be taken as so or as a negative vibe. I want to write about things I have learned through time and this is one. I want to tell people my views and standpoints in things, not make people upset

      Thank you to many wonderful women who have given me advice, guided me through and helped me be the great mommy I feel that I have become.

A special thanks to my wonderful momma who was a great role model to say the least. You have always let me dance my own dance (even if we didn't get along the entire time) and make my own way. U have only been there to guide me, not change my way of thinking, and uve always put up with my stubbornness. Takes a strong woman to keep me in line :) love you momma.

< Random Post >

24 things ( one for each year of my life) about me that may or may not surprise u.....

1. I have a huge crush on Harry Connick Jr.
2. Out of any vacation I could choose I'd want to go to Nashville
3. I hate wind
4. I'm extremely weirded out about feet
5. I'd rather stay up all night and sleep all day
6.  Justin Timberlake is hilarious
7. I once walked a cat on a leash
8. I worry way too much what people think
9. I really don't enjoy the holidays
10. I seriously can't stand Christmas music( this might be half of my reasoning for #9)
11. Before now, I didn't know how to comfortly communicate with anyone
12, my favorite color changes all the time
13. I have been to NYC and I'm ok with not going back
14. I'm OCD about my house and the things in it
15. Pure Country is still my favorite movie of all time
16 Grease would be my #2
17. I'm scared of the lake and what's in it
18. I color code my closet
19. My favorite flower is an orchid
20. I can only keep bamboo alive. No other plants
21. I'm constantly criticizing myself
22. Im scared of the dark- still
23. I talk to Jack, Eli and Case like they understand me
24. I'm scared of driving, I know, weird but I can't help it

Some of these seem irrelevant, but in all reality they are all huge pieces of who I am. They are all big things. Every little moment in my life is part of a story, a bigger picture. Some things about me might embarrass me, but I'm confident in who I am.....

--- no one can tear me down :)

I've been in my house too long--- need to get out SOON!

****SnOW dAY****

Today was not only the perfect snow day, but the perfect Sunday.( besides the groundhog seeing his shadow)
Jeff, Case and I woke up around 6 am and layed in bed, cuddled, talked about making pancakes, changed a diaper, nursed and then fell back asleep until 9:30. It was so perfect to be snuggled up to my Lil family on a very chilly, snow moving in morning. Case was passed out between us making some of the cutest sounds I have ever heard. We got up, Jeff ran to the store( and was there for awhile, the snow storm was in full swing), he made pancakes when he got home, then he worked out in the garage on a project he is currently in the middle of. Case and I vegged all day today, watching the weather on TV and confirming their reports by looking outside. Idk what it is about snow but it still makes me feel like a kid. I started thinking and getting excited about taking Case out for his first snow experience in the next few years. I hope he loves it! I can't wait to show him all the wonders and blessings of this world. There's so much to teach and to show.
      This I feel like is one of the most rewarding things about being a parent. Getting to watch a Lil one experience things for the first time. Even watching Case experience touching his hand to mine intentionally for the first time today. Seeing life through a fresh pair of eyes. Sounds so exciting and thrilling. I vow to Case, promised him today, in these exact words----" I will make everyday an adventure, For u to learn from, find intriguing, and something to smile about. I will teach you to appreciate your surroundings and make the sweetest of lemonade out of the lemons ur life gives you. I promise to make trips to the grocery store not so drab, take u to the park and even build bonfires and forts with u. We will camp, play in the dirt and explore outside. We will do all the lil boy things and get our hands dirty. I will be your teacher as long as u will let me. Laughing and enjoying life. I want u to live ur life to the fullest. Through me, with me, and even after me. I promise to make ur life as perfect as I can"

-- I do not take these words lightly. Everything will b a learning experience. An adventure. Whether its great, good or not so good. Even the not so fun lessons have to be learned. Someday. We have so many plans ahead of us, as do him and Jeff :) I plan on spoiling him to my full potential in this area of his life. He's my Lil buddy, to hang out with and now I have someone to mold and shape :) a happy person. :)

So on this snow day, I know alot of u were upset and complaining, but make the most of it. Be happy u are here to see the snow. Its still beautiful even if it causes problems in ur schedule. Take a chance to just marvel and evaluate the beautiful scenery. Its Gods paint for a painting. Just stop and breathe. Be grateful. Smell the roses, well not technically, since it is helacious outside. But you know what I mean :))
Enjoy ur night :) I'll be writing soon~

×J Shae×

Be curious---

^°^°^°ImAgInE^°^°^°
Be the flower that always gets picked
Be the dream that always gets lived.
Love yourself, always thrive
Be curious--

Never limit, for things will pass
Send a wish up in the sky,
To the stars and to the moon-
To tell of others who rely,
On u to...
Be curious--

Be ur own teacher,
Show ur strength
Love to the max
Never settle,
Be curious--

Be curious to explore Gods earth. Love everything in it and everything about it. Never take for granted the beauty that surrounds u, live each day in love and curiosity ~~~~~

10 random questions of today

10. What is the hype about mustaches? Love them but why mustaches?
9. Why do we put up with people like Miley and Justin?
8. If I am trying to get somewhere on time, why is it that the line is always longer?
7. Idk why I love laughing at peoples stupidity, is that bad of me?
6. Why do I always crave skittles?
5. Who does Lil man look like more? Me or Jeff?
4. I crave sweets constantly since I've been pregnant, never really had a sweet tooth before, how do I break that?
3.. Who is Dr Who and why is everyone so OBSESSED?
2. How am I always so broke?
1. Do u think I could get everyone to follow along if I changed my name? :)

Bonus question: How is it I started getting Lil man and I ready at 12 and I was STILL late getting to Bentonville today??
Guess it happens to the best of us. These are about half of the thoughts that run through my mind in about a minute. Lol Can u say ADD?!? Like I said yesterday, I do feel that I'm going crazy being stuck in the house and now its about to happen again! :( I had nothing inspiring to say today so I decided to spill all my Lil randomness for u to read :) enjoy :)

#dontworryaboutathing#insteadprayabouteverything